can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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