I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
it's like iHOP with fire
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?