I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
and she was petting her beer can
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
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I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
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She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"