My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.