Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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