Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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