My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Do you have feelings for this penis?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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