shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
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oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
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Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS