Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
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What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
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Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho