Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

dude you need to get laid

(906): View more from Michigan

me?

(616): View more from Michigan

no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months

(906): View more from Michigan

oh I thought you were talkin about me

(906): View more from Michigan

wait

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(616): dude you need to get laid (906): me? (616): no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months (906): oh I thought you were talkin about me (906): wait http://tfl.nu/self

Replies (10) Good night (1027) Bad night (1835)
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(818): View more from California

Jake died.

(310): View more from California

WTF????????? That's how you tell me????

(818): View more from California

Oops typo. Jake cried.

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(818): Jake died. (310): WTF????????? That's how you tell me???? (818): Oops typo. Jake cried. http://tfl.nu/zib8

Replies (41) Good night (4735) Bad night (1224)
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(518): View more from New York

I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.

(612): View more from Minnesota

May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.

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(518): I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day. (612): May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees. http://tfl.nu/b9l3

Replies (10) Good night (602) Bad night (1846)
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(408): View more from California

hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?

(925): View more from California

Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual

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(408): hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened? (925): Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual http://tfl.nu/smzs

Replies (6) Good night (4173) Bad night (439)
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(712): View more from Iowa

I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.

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(712): I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled. http://tfl.nu/klod

Replies (37) Good night (5185) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom

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(608): She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom http://tfl.nu/qu7d

Replies (17) Good night (946) Bad night (3586) Order T-Shirt
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(714): View more from California

Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.

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(714): Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going. http://tfl.nu/dlhh

Replies (17) Good night (663) Bad night (5571) Order T-Shirt
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(919): View more from North Carolina

It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.

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(919): It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk. http://tfl.nu/1top

Replies (18) Good night (5165) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
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(602): View more from Arizona

I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy

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(602): I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy http://tfl.nu/rk38

Replies (16) Good night (6395) Bad night (989) Order T-Shirt
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(716): View more from New York

right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable

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(716): right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable http://tfl.nu/dvma

Replies (14) Good night (5981) Bad night (917) Order T-Shirt
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(845): View more from New York

Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention

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(845): Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention http://tfl.nu/alzz

Replies (9) Good night (4125) Bad night (1148) Order T-Shirt
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(517): View more from Michigan

well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.

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(517): well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle. http://tfl.nu/5dkw

Replies (11) Good night (1607) Bad night (1585) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher

(312): View more from Illinois

And maybe a life coach?

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(303): So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher (312): And maybe a life coach? http://tfl.nu/dluc

Replies (2) Good night (2003) Bad night (516)
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(817): View more from Texas

I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?

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(817): I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes? http://tfl.nu/cea8

Replies (15) Good night (2729) Bad night (374) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.

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(519): I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time. http://tfl.nu/5ti8

Replies (7) Good night (786) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt

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