My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
