I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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