i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
