wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
