and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize