did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize