I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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