Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
