I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
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