Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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