Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
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The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.