i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet