apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
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We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
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Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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