All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
