this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
