That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
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ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
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The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.