it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
