I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
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I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
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I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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