dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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