He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
