Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize