dude i'm inner monologue high
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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