Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i think my cat just said my name.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
