Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
