is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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