i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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