My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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