I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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