I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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