I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize