I cannot find my penis.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Your penis caused this!
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