i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis