you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
