I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
