So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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