I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize