This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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