barbara walters just said penis...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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