Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You made out with two different species that night
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
tell me about the eggs
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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