Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
