I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I would fuck him just for his dog
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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