Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
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his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
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I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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