That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
