A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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