Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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